69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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