her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
