what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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