I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
