I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
