i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
