I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
