It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
