You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
