Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
