But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
