Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
