It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
