You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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