She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Quick, to the slutcave!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
