YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
