Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
birth control should be required to get into college
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
