people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
