So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I wish you could order shots online.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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