Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
