check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
