well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
