By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
