yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
