One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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