i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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