she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
