I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
