At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize