he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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