WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
