well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
