so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize