and you said cock pushups were impossible
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
