So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
