I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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