you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
