Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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