Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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