it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
