Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
