Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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