It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
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