guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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