This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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