I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize