Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
