I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
