i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
