there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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