Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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