Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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