Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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