the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
