i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
