Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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