I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
