I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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